Introduction to a Writer in Tights
Hello and welcome to my blog! My name is Joni and I am from Rockville, Maryland. I originally came to the University of Oklahoma for the ballet program, pursuing a degree in Ballet Performance. My journey began as a six year-old armed with a lot of energy and small pair of pink ballet slippers. I quickly fell in love with the language of the body and have explored a wide range of styles and movement techniques over the years, including ballet, contemporary, modern, flamenco, and tap. I believe that dancers are the visual storytellers of the world and that there is incredible power in speaking through the body. One of the best parts about being involved in the fine arts department at OU is getting to perform; if you've never ventured to the theatre on the North Oval, I highly recommend seeing a show there! During my sophomore year I decided to tackle a second major in International Studies, concentrating on the Middle East. I have taken an array of interesting courses focusing on
Hi Joni! First, the image on your home page is really beautiful and definitely makes me want to explore the site more.
ReplyDeleteI love this idea of taking the different forms/versions of the sun and the moon and creating a story out of it. Your introduction does a great job of explaining this concept. My favorite part is "new civilizations and societies were always coming up with other ways of addressing the sun and the moon." It's so compelling how often societies are created and how they all have such similar ideals.
I'm not exactly sure what your storybook will entail, but I can already tell it is going to be intriguing! I wonder if the mail room workers are going to show up at all anymore? If so, it could be good to add in a few names in the introduction so that we can become more familiar with them. If not then what you have is a great balance between discussing them and the main topic of the sun and the moon.
I'm looking forward to reading your storybook this semester!
Hi Joni!
ReplyDeleteI love the art on your page, and I've always loved stories about the relationship between the sun and the moon, so I'm really excited to read your stories in the future.
I do wonder about calling it the "interstellar mail room" since the moon isn't technically a star... maybe the "intercosmic mail room" would work instead? I was also wondering about the employees of the mail room — will they be featured in future stories, or will the future stories be the letters themselves? If it's the former, maybe giving some names to the workers would make the stories easier to follow, like Brooke said.
I was a little bit confused by the title in contrast to the last paragraph; the title "Dear Sun, Sincerely Moon" makes it sound like the sun and moon will be writing letters to each other, but the last paragraph makes it sound like the letters will be coming from writers on Earth.
Either way, I'm sure your future stories will be awesome! I've bookmarked your storybook because I'm really excited about it :)
Hi Joni! Like the other two comments, I think the first thing that should be noted is your cover art! Is is perfect for your storybook, and I wonder how you found it! I am kind of interested in seeing who the interstellar mail workers are. Could they be other celestial bodies in the sky? Perhaps extra terrestrial beings? I feel like giving some detail on this could add to the introduction. I also enjoy the detail of how difficult it is for the workers to sort through the mail since the moon and sun have so many names. I think you could add some examples of the names and titles they have received from people all over Earth to really highlight this problem of the mail workers. I am also unsure how the storybook will be set up. Is it suppose to be like a diary or will the sun and moon be characters in stories?
ReplyDeleteHi Joni! Well... like everyone else has said, the artwork you've chosen is absolutely stunning. It pulled me in for sure. I can definitely tell you're a writer too -- like me! Your descriptions are strong and your creativity seems to be expansive. I'm eager to read the stories you put together. I find it fascinating when we get the opportunities to create our own mythology.
ReplyDeleteI do agree with the previous commenter who said your title is somewhat misleading: it sounds like the sun and moon are writing letters to each other, not receiving letters from humans. And frankly, it could be touching and wonderful to include exchanges between the two orbiting bodies, so close and yet so far away. I think that has the potential to very powerful if you dive into it.
However, acknowledging that every culture has its own origin story of the sun and the moon, seeing how powerful the symbolism is across continents allows you to go many different directions and tell wildly different stories with a core commonality. I'm excited to see where you go with it.
Once again, beautiful site. Looking forward to the finished product!
- Cate
Hi Joni! I think other people have said this, but the artwork that you chose really made the storybook more compelling in general. Where did you find it? I'd love to look in a similar source for images for my storybook, as I think that a good image can really add a lot to my story. It draws the reader in, and creates an idea of the style of writing you will have.
ReplyDeleteI have read some of the other comments, and people said that your title is misleading. However, I did not find that the case. When you wrote "Letters to the Sky", I honestly thought that it would be about people writing letters to gods, which was pretty much the case. I wouldn't change it.
What I really liked about your story was your inclusion of the fact that different cultures refer to the gods differently! That is very true, and I like how it was incorporated into your plot.
The only thing I would suggest, is that the Intro is not much of an intro as I'm not sure where the story will go from here. Other than that, I loved it and can't wait to read more!
Hello Joni! After reading your introduction, I can tell the rest of your project is going to be written stunningly! I enjoyed your descriptions of the chariots that messengers used and your explanation of contrails as seen from Earth. The title of your page is also clever and I think your introduction story prefaces the theme of your other stories wonderfully. Navigating your website was simple and it is super aesthetically pleasing to look at! The title on your home page did confused me a bit, though, because I thought the introduction and stories would be about the moon and sun writing letters back and forth to each other instead of people/gods sending them letters from Earth or elsewhere in space, so perhaps switching that up a bit would help readers know what to expect. Otherwise your writing is fun to read and I look forward to seeing more of your stories throughout the semester!
ReplyDeleteHi Joni!
ReplyDeleteI love your use of detail and imagery in your storytelling. For example I really like sentences like, “The white lines that criss-cross the blue backdrop of daytime” and “the Sun’s fiery rays and the Moon’s glimmering silver pools.” I thought it was very clever to mention how, because the sun and moon are referred to by so many different names, that it would be extremely difficult to sort through all of their mail. I can’t imagine working in that mail room.
I also like how you included all the different beliefs about the sun and the moon that different cultures have, especially the moon-cheese believer (“Swiss?” - hahaha that part made me actually laugh). However, in your story, which one is correct? Are the sun and moon actually gods, or are they something else? You may be planning to go more into that in your next story but I think it would be good to clarify that in your introduction.
I really enjoyed reading your introduction! Can’t wait to read the rest of your story :)
Hello,
ReplyDeleteFirst off I want to say I love the way your home page looks. It made me wonder if this was to be about a letter that was sent to the sun from the moon. Once I thought about that I wondered what exactly the moon would have to say to the sun, oddly enough. Reading the introduction it pulled me in to think that the stars and planets in the solar system write to each other. It also made me wonder who interstellar postal workers were and what their job entailed. I feel as though after I read you introduction I was not that clear on what your stories would be about. I guess it will be about the work of an interstellar postal worker? I also wonder why you through in gods and what their role shall be. I have many questions that I look forward to answering through you stories.
Hey Joni! I just finished going through your home page and introduction. First of all, I really like the theme you went with. Combining the postal service with the history of the moon and sun was a great idea, and I can already think of several different ways you could tell those stories. I also think it was cool how you put different pictures on your pages. It's a small touch, but it adds a different facet to the design of your storybook. Your writing was also extremely descriptive! I was able to paint a picture of the chariot flying across the sky, among other things. What if you gave a little more insight in your introduction from the perspective of the sun or moon? If you give a sneak peek of your two main characters, you could hook the audience even more. Overall, I think you did a great job, and hopefully I run into your storybook again later on this semester!
ReplyDeleteHey Joni! To echo what everyone else has said, the artwork is totally stunning and absolutely perfect for your storybook. I do also agree that the "Dear Sun, Sincerely Moon" makes it sound like those two entities are writing to each other, but I think the "Letters to the Sky" title works really well! So just making your first title reflect the story better should hopefully fix that initial confusion.
ReplyDeleteYour introduction is so fun and engaging. I love this premise and the acknowledgement of different cultures present here. I think it ends rather abruptly though - I think if you maybe ended it with a worker pulling one out of a pile because something about it caught his attention, it would lead nicely into your first story and add an element of suspense! Maybe the envelope was unique or the size unusual or maybe it had already been opened. Or perhaps there was a small pile that the worker set aside to secretly read. Overall I love this idea so much and can't wait to see where you take it!
Hi Joni!
ReplyDeleteI love the artwork you included on your home page. I especially love the contrasting colors and all the shapes! All of your images are unique and wonderful! I just read your introduction and your first story, and I love the direction you are taking this. I’m excited to see what the other letters will entail. Since the title is “Dear Sun, Sincerely Moon,” will one of the letters be from the Sun to the Moon? In your story, I was confused by the author’s note in terms of what happened in the original story. Rewording a few sentences can help with this! In addition, it would be interesting to see who the mail workers are and how they receive the letters in the first place. You could add in these extra details in the introduction to clear up some confusion! These are just suggestions; I hope I was helpful!
Hey Joni,
ReplyDeleteI thought that you did a great job making your site accessible to us. I really liked the pictures you included in the banner. One thing that I was confused with was your intro. I could not really figure out what you were going to be telling us about and it was only after reading your first story did, I get a better understanding. I do agree with the others that I thought it was the sun and moon sending messages to each other not human. With that being said I thought you did a great job with the first story. I thought the descriptive devices you used when the people were addressing the moon were so intriguing. I also found it interesting that you had a woman who was hurt addressing the moon because God was not answering. I thought that it was great having God playing a bigger part to give him more humanity. Too often we just see God as a protector and did not really know how to describe him. Overall, I thought you did a great job and cannot wait to read more stories from you.
Hi Joni,
ReplyDeleteI love love loved your storybook! My little astrology loving heart was here for it! I have aways been fascinated with the sun and moon and the many stories to explain their origins. I like how in the intro you made it so that the sun and moon where old beings and thus there were many tales derived from earth across different cultures that explain their origin. I like that they have many named to go by and i like that you even address the scientific way to explain it as well as the funny kids way in your overall tale. I really enjoyed your first story, I was a nice explanation. i love your blend of keeping the story close to the original but you change it enough to make the story uniquely your own, which i really enjoyed. I cannot wait i see what else you chose to include in your story blog. phenomenal job!
Hey there!! First off, great job with your design of your page! I had a question in the introduction part; you say that Sun and Moon received the most mail out of all the stars, and I was wondering why this is true? Is it perhaps that they have the most power? Or do they complete the most feats? I think it would be a cool point for you to use imagination and make something up for why they are the most popular ones! Also, I like the idea of the mailroom and at the end of your introduction I like how you gave a comparison between how some people view the Moon and Sun compared to how other people view the Moon and The Sun! Also, you chose very cool pictures for your storybook pages. As for your first story, I enjoyed seeing your explanation for why you referred to God as "they" because I was wondering that while I was reading the story.
ReplyDeleteHi Joni,
ReplyDeleteFirst off, the picture on the homepage is awesome. It was the first thing I noticed and I immediately got excited. It is colorful and captivating. The banner image is also awesome. Concerning the introduction, you did great. It is a little mini story and fit in great. I would suggest adding a little blurb about what the stories will be about. So mentioning that there will be a combination of three different letters. I am not sure what the other two stories are, but you could tie them all together in that introduction. Your first story was very well done. The author's note was awesome as well. The author's note really helped me grasp the story so much better! I wonder what other stories you will include. If they are all about the creation of the Sun and the Moon it may be fun to have the Sun and the Moon agree over which story is the truth! There is tons of room fro creativity. Great job!
Hi Joni,
ReplyDeleteI just read "The Fate of the Moon" and I thought it was great! I really liked the amount of symbolism involved with the stones representing the sun and the moon. I think you also did a great job with dialogue, adding it when necessary but not going overboard with it.
Something that I wondered was why was Buwan so mad at Araw for wearing a dress that she didn't approve of? It seemed like it didn't affect their encounter with God since he wanted to give them gifts and wanted to speak to them again. I also think it would be a good idea to tell the audience in that moment that Buwan's stone is the Moon and Araw's stone is the Sun. I realize that the connection is made in the next paragraph but I think it would be a good to let the audience know right away.
Looking forward to reading more of your stories!
Hello again, Joni! You stopped by my storybook project, so I thought I’d drop by yours. I’m just going to break down your introduction for now, since I’d like to read all your stories in one go.
ReplyDeleteI love the idea of the Sun and the Moon as some sort of supernatural beings. There’s so many different ways you can characterize both to tell a story. I like the sense of humor you wrote in your introduction, and the use of modern settings, such as the postal service. There are some blanks that I’m trying to fill in, mostly because I’m going off of the intro alone. Are the Sun and Moon considered gods in this world, or will this be revealed to be false later on? Whether or not you want to leave that as a mystery it up to you—the intrigue is there already.
It might be helpful to identify the role the postal workers early on, for the reader’s benefit. Are they powerful or lesser beings? Is the one mentioned in the introduction destined to be the narrator of the story? I’m sure we’ll discover this soon enough, though it helps to know what this project aims to achieve. Overall, I’m very excited to read the rest of your storybook!
Hi Joni!
ReplyDeleteI thought your introduction was really creative and I appreciated how it was almost a story as well. I also really enjoyed the letter format for telling stories about the sun and moon. Reading your first story I was somewhat confused the first time you used "they" in reference to God. It wasn't until I read your author's note at the end that I really understood why you chose to use "they" as a pronoun. I would suggest putting your author's note at the top so people are aware before they dive into your story and don't waste time rereading a sentence that doesn't sound right at first. Alternatively, does it need to be one singular God in the story? Referring to "Gods" instead of a "God" is another way to solve the problem of needing a gendered pronoun. Overall, I really like what you have so far. Keep up the good work!
Hi Joni! After reading your introduction, I am beyond impressed with your creativity! Your storybook theme is so unique and I love that it is all centered around an interstellar mailroom! So clever! I also appreciate the images you have chosen to accompany your website. They are absolutely beautiful and do a good job at conveying your message. After reading your Introduction page, I am curious how your other stories are going to be... One thing I would suggest is to create more of a transition between your introduction and your first story, “The Fate of the Moon”. The Introduction, to me, ends kind of abruptly, so maybe adding a sentence or two might aide in your transition. Just an idea! I also really liked your first story and how it is written in a letterform, which along with your mailroom theme. I also like how you allowed for God to make an actual appearance in the story. It allowed you to add another dynamic! Great work!
ReplyDeleteHello!
ReplyDeleteYour stories are very beautifully written. I really enjoyed reading them. I like your moon and sun theme. There’s so many stories about both that I’m sure you have plenty of sources to draw from so I’m excited to see what your third story will look like. I noticed that you tend to write more often about the moon I wonder if you’ll keep that throughout the third story. I recognized your first story while I was reading it and I really like your version too. Overall your layout it nice too. You don’t have too many pictures other than your headers, but the ones you have are nice. The header image for your second story kind of confused me though. I don’t see how it relates to your story since there is no sun in the image and the moon is only partially there. Other than that great job!
Hi Joni,
ReplyDeleteI am back to see what you have added on to your story and what I can say it just WOW impressive work! The second story was beautiful and it was such a plot twist to read the author's note to hear what really happened wow. Talk about complicated. It was a fun idea to change the roles where the sun the ruled the night and the moon ruled the day. I think it was a nice romantic touch for the moon to fall in love and ask the sun too switch roles which forever changed our perception of day and night. I thought it was cute that you brought in the sun and moons origin, in a time before the concept of day and night existed and that were just two stars in the milky way. I like the image you used as a banner pic for the second story as well. The preview of the third story has my anticipation up! I cannot wait to see what you come up with!!
Hi Joni,
ReplyDeleteI thought your website was an interesting concept but it ended up being really worked and thought out. I love the homepage image. It is an immaculate piece of art. The website as a whole was very easy to navigate and it was very easy to move around and know exactly what I was getting into when it came to the stories. The pictures throughout the website are amazing. I especially loved the image for the "Ruler of the Night" story. The image was so busy in the fact that there was so much happening at one time. It was colorful and there were many parts to the image which was exciting to me. The flowers and butterflies of the image really made it pop and had wondering what it all meant. Overall, the image selection of your website was spot-on and there were no disappointing images with any of the stories. I really enjoyed your website and I am excited to see what comes next!
Hi Joni! Abby from Epics of India here. I love your Storybook, I think it's so interesting and beautifully woven together. I really like how your Introduction is written as a story as well, to set the reader up for the way your next pages are written.
ReplyDeleteWith regards to the images, I really like how each of them is so different and yet fits the overall theme. I love the second one, for Ruler of the Night, but I have to say I feel as though the one you chose for the third one, A Light in the Darkness, may actually fit better as the second story's image, because to me, that's the one where the sun and moon have the closest relationship. In the third one, they aren't close at all, and yet that's what the image is conveying. I like the Fate of the Moon image a lot, I think that one fits very well. One other thing to consider with the header images is how readable the text is on them--on the third one, it's a little difficult.
In the Fate of the Moon, I like how keeping God genderless is a choice you intentionally make, and shows that they're sort of beyond the more human concept of gender. However, at one point you do use the pronoun 'she' to refer to them, so I'd just watch out for that. Also, in the Ruler of the Night, I got a little confused with your language about which of them lives in the world of daylight and which is in night, and if that switches or just that they want it to switch or quite how that works.
Overall, your Storybook is really fun to read, and makes me see both the sun and moon in a new light!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHi Joni! I have to start out by complimenting your storybook website. The layout is very user-friendly, and the images featured on each page are just beautiful. I think having a great website like this really helps add to the stories in your book.
ReplyDeleteYour introduction does a nice job of letting the reader know what to expect as they read along. I think that it was a great idea to make each of your stories a letter. This was a creative storytelling tactic! All three of your stories feature descriptive language that makes them more interesting to read. I usually look forward to reading dialogue in stories, but I think that having everything told from first person letters really works. How did you pick out the stories and myths that you retold in your book? I think that you chose a nice mix of stories to share. Your author's notes on each story have great information. Great job so far!
Hi Joni! I was excited to get to read your stories this week as this is my first time to read tales from the other class! When I first visited your website, I was very impressed by the layout. All of your images and text looks very neat, and well put together. The graphic you chose of the sun and the moon on your home page went along perfectly with your overall theme. Each page was easy to navigate to and was very professional looking. Your introduction was very informative and gave me a really good insight as to what your storybook was going to be about. The overall theme that you chose was very creative and I had not seen anything like it yet. The idea of writing a letter for every story is such a cool and unique idea. Each story was well written and I look forward to reading more from you! Great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Joni!
ReplyDeleteI thoroughly enjoyed reading your storybook. I loved how the introduction served so many purposes. It immediately delved into the world-building by creating the interstellar postal service and describing how this system operated. I also loved that it established the different views people of different cultures and civilizations have of the sun, moon, and other celestial beings and gods. This was an extremely clever way to account for the fact that each of your stories would portray the sun and moon within a different context and give them an alternate background. The pictures that you chose were very high resolution and they added a subtle, yet beautiful touch to your stories. Your author's notes included just the right amount of information and were descriptive enough that I could glean a proper understanding of the original story in addition to the changes you chose to make. The only issue I noticed was that your first author's note states that you don't like to refer to God using gendered pronouns. However, there is one point in the story where you accidentally refer to God as "she": "Why have you hurt your sister thus?” she asked in a startled tone." I just thought you might want to change that. Great job on your storybook!
Hey there Joni! This week, I was able to take a look at your story book project.Your site flows from page to page really well, and all of your images really sync together quite nicely. In regards to the overall theme and works within the project, I am really impressed. You were able to give the sun, moon, etc. so many layers of culture, origination, and and yet modernity. Your introduction provided a lot of important information that was really helpful to the reader. You were able to use a lot of really beautiful descriptive words which really added a gorgeous layer to the overall project. You were able to give the characters such a great personal touch and I felt that I could picture them as real-life characters. The fact that you chose to write as first person and in letters was a possible factor that added this layer, but regardless, it all clicked.
ReplyDeleteHi Joni, I read your "A light in the darkness" story and the imagery that you used is really brutal! I love it! It was very vivid the way that you described her death and the blood and the gore really got me hooked. It is intriguing how you can bring to life these aztec tales and it is completely different from the things that I am used to reading. Also, your pictures are really pretty and I appreciate the banner photo too! One thing that I think could be helpful is possibly paragraphing a little bit more. Certain details you could try adding into more condensed little segments. Your story is great!
ReplyDeleteDear Joni,
ReplyDeleteHi there! I just finished reading through your storybook, and I really enjoyed the whole concept, and particularly the second and third stories - "Ruler of the Night' and "A Light in the Darkness." Your writing is really lovely and vivid, with some wonderful turns of phrase. There are a few grammatical errors throughout, especially in the first story, so you may want to go back through and double check on that. I'm grateful that you did away with the whole incest plot of "Ruler of the Night," by the way - that makes me uncomfy, too, and I honestly find your version much more interesting/compelling anyway. I thought the writing itself was at its best in the third story, and the plot was so interesting! I also loved the idea of an interstellar postal service - so cute! Overall, this was a really interesting website to look through for my final week of project feedback. :)
Hey Joni!
ReplyDeleteI just finished the first story of your storybook, and I really like the idea you decided to run with! I think your attention to detail is really incredible and story seemed to flow really well also. I think you have done a really good job with establishing the sun and moon as characters, rather than just abstract ideas or objects. Creating personalities for inanimate objects is really hard, but I think you have done well with this challenge and I feel like I am getting to know these characters personally. Like some of the others in the class commenting on your story, I love the idea of an interstellar postal service. That's really really cool. In conclusion, I think you've done a great job and I look forward to reading the rest of the stories.
Hi Joni,
ReplyDeleteI only read the first story because of times constraints, but your storybook concept is amazing. I absolutely loved all of the sun and moon stories this semester and was a bit sad that I didn't choose a storybook idea that allowed me to recreate them (I did write them some weeks though). I really like the way that you chose to write these stories. It is very unique and creative.
Also, In the Fate of the Moon, the use of the gender-neutral pronoun makes me very happy. I don't know if you used 'they' in any other stories.
I love the images you chose, especially the last one (A light in the Darkness), they are gorgeous and bright, which is not something that I have seen a lot of this semester, most people go for faded/dark images for their storybooks.
I am glad I got to read your storybook this semester. Good work, I think it turned out fantastically!